2013-03-14

Habeant papam - they have a new pope

Our sources at the (other) Holy Office transmitted us the otherwise classified information that the new Pope chose his name in sign of appreciation and reverence for a historical character which inspired him in his youth. Some are talking about a certain Saint Francis of Assisi, but this is obviously a ploy intended to distract from finding the true source. It stands to reason that a Jesuit like the ex-Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio wouldn't even begin to think about using the name of the founder of a competing religious order! And if that isn't enough, we are proud to present a copy of the top secret first sketch of the poster announcing the election of the new Pope, drafted on the very table where the pope elect sat during the conclave. It gives  certain subtle hints as to his secret muse, but we'll leave to you, dear reader, the pleasure to discover them: